health Books

From: www.BasilAndSpice.com
Author & Book Views On A Healthy Life!

Book Review: The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again and Stay There (Perigree, 2001) by Mark Goulston, MD with Philip Goldberg

A Classic Feature

Dr. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor who helps high performing leaders, senior management and sales people reach their full potential using skills he learned training FBI and police hostage negotiators. He has also written Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Get Out of Your Own Way at Work, and PTSD for Dummies.

The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship has received praise from John Gray, Ph.D. and Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. The book is based on more than 10,000 hours of couples therapy and has been developed into six secrets for keeping your relationship together:

1. Keep the chemistry burning.
2. Treat your partner with respect--and earn his or her respect.
3. Don't stop thinking about enjoyment.
4. Give one another acceptance despite your flaws.
5. Deserve each other's trust.
6. Always keep in touch with empathy.

"The structure of an intimate relationship rests on six pillars, which are the core of each of the six secrets."

1. C--chemistry (Sex; Romance; Discusses the painful secrets some individuals keep; Tells why we need to feel physically connected. Answers why chemistry waxes, then wanes--explains how to bring this important element back into the relationship.)
2. R--respect (This is where affairs sometimes begin. Warning signs of disrespect highlighted. Tells how to respect yourself and your partner.)
3. E--enjoyment (There is a need for laughter. Defines how baggage hinders enjoyment.)
4. A--acceptance (Teaches how to avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling--leading predictors in the failure of couples. Elucidates upon what to do if you can't quite accept your partner. Also teaches how to find acceptance.)
5. T--trust (Implies faith and confidence and is required for emotional intimacy. Details how to restore trust.)
6. E--empathy (Attempt to view the situation from your partner's point of view. Learn how to move from debate and animosity to dialogue and understanding. Empathy heals wounds.)

Dr. Goulston writes that breakdowns in a relationship occur when an element of the pillars is shaky--they need regular reinforcement. Stress on the pillars is a result of marriage, child-rearing, financial problems, long-term bond of two single people, or even work. The author believes that you shouldn't feel like a victim, instead take the initiative to create the "love you deserve."

By reading The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, you should learn how to have:

* Renewed involvement with each other
* Revived enthusiasm four your relationship
* A stronger sense of partnership and commitment
* An atmosphere of healing
* A greater capacity to solve problems effectively
* Deepened intimacy and tenderness
* Enhanced mutual understanding
* Freedom from guilt and blame
* A more durable bond
* A reawakening of love

Using a no-blame, no-fault, no-nonsense approach and couples therapy stories as examples, this book is well written for couples to read and act upon together. Dr. Goulston also includes throughout blocks of Usable Insight and questionnaires as evaluation tools. The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship is a classic which should be read by all couples, especially those who are in a shaky, rocky, or separating marriage and by those who are preparing to enter one. If your relationship is in trouble, find out why. Mark Goulston's 6 Secrets is Usable Insight into the reasons problems begin and will help you overcome existing marital difficulties and even point you to further help if necessary. And, if you're happily married, you, like myself, can gain a better understanding of your spouse and marriage.

5 Stars

I just read a sample of the book from my Kindle, but that brief excerpt was enough. This book would probably be better titled, "how to resuscitate a dieing relationship," and marketed to those with relationships already on the decline. Even in that situation, I'd find his writing hard to take. He constantly is trying to sell you on his be-all, end-all acronym, CREATE. Though the relationship examples from his practice were excellent, the analogies were weakly uninspiring.

In my experience, this has got to be the single most useful book on the subject of lasting romantic relatinships. Dr. Goulston examines the six pillars of relationship success - Chemistry, Respect, Enjoyment, Acceptance, Trust, Empathy.

Together the first letters of each word spell CREATE. Together, the essence of each word define LOVE.

I bought this for my girlfriend and she loved it! I read it and I love it. A very interesting read which will definitely change your perspective on your relationships.

This book can literally save your marriage or committed relationship. Dr. Goulston uses simple, yet clever analogies to help readers understand the true foundation of a solid relationship. His CREATE approach is direct and easy to understand. The advice is wonderful and it's obvious that Dr. Goulston genuinely cares about helping people grow and solidify their intimate relationships. This should be required reading for all couples or anyone contemplating a romantic relationship.

This is a delightful and surprising little book with a big mission. The pursuit of happiness has never before been laid out so clearly into steps that make sense and are easy to follow. We have given copies to several friends and they also have been very pleased and inspired. Highly recommended!

This is a perfect little book -- fun, funny and refreshing. Perfect for people into self-help and those who just want to have a good laugh.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book it was a lighthearted and fun way, to personal growth. It was informative and deep without being patronizing. I will read it again and again.

I've seen lots of funny books and lots of useful books but never a combination like this. The serious part of the book is more fresh and insightful than most self-help books out there. The jokes are risque and funny and sophisticated. Overall, an extraordinary book and a great present.

During my more than 30 years as a practicing Psychologist I have been exposed to a variety of ways of conceptualizing our existence from French existentialism through psychoanalysis and behaviorism to the deconstructionism and relativism that characterizes our present time. I have also had the pleasure of meditating with Tibetan Buddhists for two years. The ABC's of Happiness comes as close as anything I have read to condensing the core truths of these and many other approaches into a simple, enjoyable, easy to read text.Don't let the children's book format fool you; this is serious stuff. But to benefit fully you can not simply read it; you have to do the exercises. It will be well worth the effort. Enjoy !

This wonderful little book hadn't been published when I finished treatment. It would have been so helpful during that post treatment time when I struggled so hard to return to normal - then, eventually, realized that there was no going back - I was different now and needed to find my "new" normal.

Although I had heard from others that finishing treatment can be unexpectedly hard, it still came as a surprise. I have held it together pretty well, I think, through everything that had happened to me (diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer whilst pregnant). But I really did lose the plot a bit for a while, when it had all finished. This book has helped tremendously. It is a MUST for anyone just finishing treatment. Really wonderful

I received this book yesterday and am returning it today. It seems to simply list fears (in question format) then state that they will be fears and that there is a basis for fear. So, this book will validate that fear exists, even after treatment. However, this book has a very negative focus. Frankly, it was more unsettling- creating fears I didn't have. While I wasn't looking for a book that was "life is just fine now", I don't need any book to stir up fear and a feeling of helplessness. There was also a whole chapter on "troubling words of "cure and "survivor"... this chapter seemed to be more that the author had an ax to grind, apparently judging people who would use these words as part of their own psychological recovery as being polly-anna or misinformed. She even takes a blast at the "pink ribbon" information as too upbeat. Gosh I guess she just wants to make sure that you stay emotionally fragile, but now you can cite reasons to be! Forget it. I don't need more negativity or fear in my life.

The author of this book is a 14-year breast cancer survivor (at the time of publication.) Musa Mayer was a counselor in the Ohio Community Mental Health system, with a specialty in women's issues. The professional background, plus her personal experience, lends itself to specific knowledge to be an advocate for those facing breast cancer and its after effects. The author suspects that society encourages women to get on with their lives like before cancer, when in fact that is a faulty expectation. There is no going back to life as it was before cancer, because cancer shifts the foundation on which patients stand. Instead, survivors must build supports for a strong life after cancer. Mayer tells readers how to do that, and why it is necessary for post-cancer well-being.

Mayer incorporates the experiences of 40 other women. The women share their thoughts and feelings about what happens after surgery and other cancer treatments are over. The book clearly addresses the concerns of women worrying about recurrence and/or metastatic breast cancer. "This book takes the position that for women diagnosed with breast cancer, coming to terms in a direct way with the fear of recurrence can become a crucial part of the recovery process."

For the two million women in the United States who will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer, the recovery process is no easy task. The impact that cancer has on the patient, her family and friends, is profound. Mayer divides the issues of recovery into eight chapters, which include informational and emotional content. What determines a cure? What defines a survivor? What medical tests should a survivor have? What symptoms would a survivor experience? What fears are "normal?" How does a survivor experience a "new normal?" According to Mayer, survivors must "discover what is normal for us now." In addition, Mayer explains the importance of support, and encourages survivors to seek support groups. She also includes an extensive resource guide. For those seeking a holistic approach to life after cancer, the area that is lacking in this book is a chapter on spirituality.
After Breast Cancer is a one-of-a-kind book that should be in of every survivor's library for resources and reassurance.
review by Lynn C. Tolson

I purchased, After Breast Cancer: Answers to the Questions You're Afraid to Ask, for a friend of mine who was diagnosed with primary breast cancer two years ago. Before giving my friend the book, I read it, so I would not be suggesting a book that might "scare" her. Having metastatic breast cancer myself, I found myself wishing I would have had such a resource after my initial diagnosis. The book is extremely well-written and addresses all of the key issues of dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis. It's educational and offers the patient a "take-charge" mentality of a breast cancer diganosis. This book is a "must read" for women (and men) who are dealing with or have dealt with breast cancer.

As a two time cancer survivor, I wish I had found this book 10 years ago and I might not have had to go through all I have. The author is a wonderful physician and writes in a manner that is clear and understandable. The material is so important for anyone to maintain a high antioxidant status for overall health. Thank you, Dr. Berkson.

Everyone in America needs to read this book!! Anyone in America that has a liver problem, from Hepatitis C to liver cancer can get get better from taking this product. We have been to Dr. Berkson's office, and he is a marvelous Dr.!! You should have some kind of review to let people know about this book.

If you've heard of alpha-lipoic acid and its being extremely helpful in treating diabetes, liver illnesses, mercury intoxications, or as an anti-oxidant, you may want to know more about it before taking it. This book, by Burt Berkson (MD, PhD) is an excellent answer to your worries. Berkson describes how he got to be interested by alpha-lipoic acid, it's safety record ("FDA"-approved in Germany for 50 years), it's uses, and, perhaps most interesting, his views on medicine.

Not only does Dr. Berkson come across as a very competent and compassionate physician, especially in regards to lipoic acid, on which he is America's leading expert, he is also an outspoken critic of what he correctly sees as problems in modern American medicine. In the first chapter, he describes how he almost ended his career when he saved the life of a dying patient against the wishes of his boss, and how he would do it again. No insurance policy and few doctor's visits can provide the benefits of his invaluable candor, which serves to immunize his readers with a large and healthy level of cynicism about medicine as it is practiced in the United States today.

One thing that this book does not contain is advice on what dosage of lipoic acid to ingest. This may be a sign of great wisdom; in Germany, where Dr. Berkson worked at the Max Planck Institute, and where lipoic acid has been on the market for decades, neurologists who exclude a potential heavy metal poisoning in their patients are not regarded with the sort of wonderment that mermaids and unicorns otherwise garner. Those with a heavy metal problem can suffer some extremely unwelcome and perhaps permanent side-effects if they take the sort of dosages that others easily tolerate. By not giving any advice on this subject, Dr. Berkson certainly isn't giving any bad advice on this subject.

I heartily recommend this book.

Dr. Berkson has put his research and findings into terms that all can
understand. I had hepititis and recovered, but suffered from minor
liver malfunctions which triggered constipation and poor digestion of
fats. Merely the addition of Alpha Lipoic Acid has helped restore my
liver function and aleviated my problems. I've gained much usable
information from his book about preventing heart disease, a family
problem....I am thankful that I have finally found a supplement that
has helped me with those continuing liver related problems.

If only the author had used twenty pages to say what he has said in whole, long, 155 page book. It is too laborious to get essential facts- like optimum dosage for example is nowhere to be found easily, if at all. He knows his stuff, but must it take so long and why no summary page? Also it is a one size fits all- how do people survive all the diseases he outlines without this potion?

While their cover of Only Sixteen was all over the radio, I wonder how many folks bought the LP after hearing that song, and discovered this stoner classic? This is music to listen to with a lot of friends, with plenty of various libations on hand. A true party album.

As usual, the album contains great Shel Silverstein penned classics. Shel was at the top his game, and Dr. Hook delivers the songs with skillful wit. Interestingly enough, Dr. Hook as a band was bankrupt, and this album very well could have been their last. The success of Only Sixteen saved them, but alas, instead of more songs like The Millionaire and I Got Stoned, they went.... DISCO!!!! Bankrupt turned out to be the last, great Dr. Hook album. And what a great one it is!

Good times and good music from a long time ago.
Light one up, kick back, and enjoy.

I love this album. I saw the 'Hook' in 1974 on The Old Grey Whistle Test doing it and was blown away - I went out and bought it the following day. The Millionairre is excellent, I got stoned...... just me at the time. I've just ordered on CD from this site - delivery in April - I can't wait. I've worn out 6 copies on 33 over the past 30 years. The only other album I've done that with is Neil Young Harvest

some very funny moments on this CD. i used to listen to the LP many years ago , wore it out completely. WUPS makes me smile everytime i hear it. this was the bands last chance to make it big. Only Sixteen was the hit that made them superstars. A very hard to find CD, get it while you still can.

This album holds so many memories of my teenage years as I used to listen to this when going to Speedway with my brother. I have been searching for this to add to my collection of CD's and this is the first place I have been able to find it. As for the songs there isn't a bad one amonst them "Levitate" truly does lift me high, "Only Sixteen" reminds me of when I was ONLY SIXTEEN and "Millionaire" well listening to it will make us all feel like MILLIONAIRE'S

I read the library's copy of this book. It had so much information that I wanted to share with friends and family and remember for myself that I decided to add it to my small reference collection.

A very common sense approach to common maladies. Especially love the suggestion that Vick's Vaporub on the soles of the feet help arrest coughing. It does work in most cases.

Informative, consice, easy to read and very helpfull. A wealth of information reguarding health issues.

This book has more useable information than any other I've seen. The remedies recommended are all impemented with ingredients you either have around the house anyway or else you can easily pick them up at the local grocery store or drug store. No eye of Newt or powdered antelope horn needed. The advice is sensible, simple and easy to follow. I love mine and plan to give some as gifts for Christmas.

This latest of the Graedons' books is a wonderful resource for any family to have. It contains a wealth of information about traditional as well as alternative medical remedies.

I read this book with much anticipation. I was dying to find out what it said. Finally a book that understood me. I had high hope for the book! I had visited the web-site for the book and the message board, [..... ] and thought the web-site was great. How could the book not be just as wonderful. I started reading and felt like this book was written about me but written for me. I could not believe what women went through to have a baby.....and what I went through and what I am thinking about going through again. The book was great just as I had expected! It had wonderful story's about women who have gone through what I went through. It had great information for women with hyperemesis. I would highly recommend this book to woman who have suffered through hyperemesis, women who are currently suffering through hyperemesis, and friends & family who are supporting their loved one through this tough time. Women need to remember there are other women who have survived hyperemesis and to use this book as one of your tools to help you survive. If you are thinking about abortion to end your pain and misery, PLEASE read this book first, there is hope out there! I also have a blog about hyperemesis: [......] and you can e-mail me for thoughts, questions, and support! Please go to the web-site listed above for more wonderful information about the book and to talk to the author. Remember you can do it!

I came across this book after suffering with HG for 2 pregnancies. Finally a book that does not tell you to eat some crackers before getting out of bed and the morning sickness will go away. Women need to know that HG is not just "normal morning sickness". This book is so full of information you are sure to learn a lot from it, but in the very least you will get comfort that what you are suffering from is a real sickness that needs special care from your doctor. Also, this is a must read for anyone who is caring for a woman suffering from HG.
Thank you Ashli for the time you took to write this book. All OB/GYN offices should have a copy of it.

When I had my first three sons in the late 1980s and early 1990s, I felt like I was the only person in the world who had suffered HG. Of course I had dozens of people comparing their morning sickness to what I was experiencing and telling me that I was crazy and just needed to be more active, or eat crackers, or simply get over it.

My fourth son was born in 2005. I had access to the internet, books, and more information about HG. I finally had answers to what I was experiencing. I started a support website for women suffering from HG at http://forum.hghelp.com//index.php I bought this book last year and only got about half way through it when a friend of mine started having symptoms of HG. I gave her the book immediately. Recently, I got the chance to finish reading the book. It was amazing. I believe every woman who has suffered through an HG pregnancy, every family member, or anyone who knows someone who has suffered through HG should read this book. In its pages we meet women who are stronger than they ever knew possible. We can empathize with their struggles.

Finally advice from someone who has been there is available to women suffering from HG.

Thank you Ashli McCall for touching so many lives.

I battled HG in my first pregnancy without any real knowledge of what was happening to me. My Dr. diagnosed me with it but I was unsure of what exactly it was. I wish I had this book with my first pregnancy. It describes the illness in a way that every women suffering HG can relate to. It also puts the illness in perspective for naysayers who think HG is an overexaggerated form of morning sickness or even that you are faking it and there is no way you can be that sick - which I can say for certain is not the case. She also put stories in the book about other women and their HG experience which is really relatable and lets you know you arent alone.

I really cant thank her enough for writing this. It validates the disease I fought so hard to overcome. And now that I am looking towards my 2nd pregnancy I will be as prepared as I can when it hits.

As someone who has dealt with this horrible illness during pregnancy before, this book helped me to realize that I am not alone and that there are some other medical options for any subsequent pregnancies. My daughter is now a beautiful 5 year old and I have been fearful of getting pregnant again. I want another baby more than anything! This book gave me the hope that I can do it again. It also informed me of some options such as steroid treatment which I discussed with my doctor. He is aware of this treatment and seemed to know a great deal about it. My doctor was always very understanding and helpful during my pregnancy, and I hope the next time around will be more bearable. Thank you to all the women who shared their stories!

I've read at least a dozen natural birthing books and this one is direct and offers more tips and practical information than others.

This is a very great book for anyone who is expecting. As a soon to be mother it will give you insight into what the expectant father must be and might feel when the baby arrives. It also provides wonderful knowledge regarding the birthing process, medical interventions and what to expect after the birth. This is written very well and is very easy to read. The reference section in the back is great, as it provides numerous sources for you to refer to for further information. I would highly suggest this book for anyone or couple who is expecting and especially for those of you who want to do it naturally.

This book has detailed information regarding the entire birth process. It has a very balanced approach regarding birthing naturally and medical intervention. I found it to be extremely helpful as I was getting ready to have a baby for the first time.

I bought this book thinking my husband would read, but I ended up doing the reading. This book is incredibly thorough and covered everything I felt I needed to know about the birthing process, labor, possible complications, the choice to involve drugs, the types of tests performed on the baby, and so much more. It supports natural birth, but not overly so and gives you good information from which to make informed decisions. Despite my intentions to have a natural birth, it just didn't work out. But I felt I had the information I needed when things didn't go as planned and I had to change course. I wasn't too into the parts that were addressed specifically to the partner, and what the partner could do, so I just skipped over those. But if you actually were the partner reading the book, I can see how they might be helpful.

I borrowed this, along with several similar books from the library to prepare for giving birth in about two months. I found this one to be the most comprehensive and easiest to understand (for both myself and my husband). The book is well organized and is sectioned in such a way that you (or better yet, your partner who is NOT in labor),can quickly turn to pain relieving techniques or other important info when the need arises. The illustrations are clear and relevant, as are the explanations. One of the things I really appreciated about this book was the description of the stages of labor/birth, so that you can understand how and why your laboring body is doing what it is doing at a particular time, and what you can expect as a result of your body's actions. It also provides detailed descriptions of pain relief, from natural measures to drugs offered by hospitals. More importantly, it describes the positive and negative effects of the use of said techniques and drugs, and advises at which stage of labor they are most effective. Even though this is not a book that will be useful to me after my pregnancy, I think it will be invaluable to us leading up to and during labor.

I just heard this author speak at a teacher's conference. The material presented was excellent, and reflected the fresh and new approach of this book. I am so pleased that finally there is a book that treats the subject of body mechanics in a functional and practical way. This book is exactly what our profession has been waiting for. Buy it and enjoy!

If you are a massage student, therapist, or teacher of massage therapy, you should buy this book. It's the best book written on body mechanics. It provides all the information needed to sustain a healthy massage career. The burn-out rate for massage therapists is too short; this book will help to eliminate it.

I've been teaching massage for over 15 years, and in all that time I've never come across such a wonderful book on body mechanics. This book is a gem. As a teacher I find its content up-to-date and concise. The photos are clear, the exercises are brilliant, and the tips for students are an extra bonus. My students have learned an incredible amount from this book, and I see it in their work with each other. I wouldn't be without this book in the classroom, and my students will be so thankful for it after they graduate.

I was recently at a massage convention. This book was by far the best one there on the subject of body mechanics. Its functional approach, illustrations, layout, and overall format not only make it easy to use, but a pleasure as well. All others fail to brighten up an otherwise historically dry subject. It will relight your fire and renew your, perhaps neglected, promise of self-care!

If you are a therapist, of any kind, you must buy this book. I use mine almost everyday to help keep myself injury free - and so far, so good. I also use the "client education tips" regularly to education my clients. The book also has helpful "practice tips" which help me to remember good body mechanics when at the table. I love this book - so will you!

I was diagnosed in October 2006 and began treatment one month later. The time between diagnosis and treatment was fast-paced, confusing and sometimes overwhelming. I had exceptional care, but I was not as proactively informed as I would have liked. Dr. Chan's book is exactly what I needed then, and it has been tremendously helpful now,over a year later, in understanding what all that took place between surgery, chemo and hormonal therapy. I have recommended this book to all my girlfriends who in one way or another are affected by breast cancer. I can't recommend this book more strongly to you or your loved one who is now facing breast cancer or trying to make sense of the breast cancer they have already been fighting.

This is one of 2 books I purchased when I was first diagnosed. Terrific and I still use it as a reference. Helped me when I was deciding on treatment (very borderline for chemo) Very detailed but easy to understand. I'd recommend this to anyone going through breast cancer.
There is so much written out there that is out of date or incorrect. If you have to buy one book, this is the one.

My wife and I have been on an emotional and psychological roller coaster since she was diagnosed with breast cancer. This book has really helped us to sort through and make sense of the terms, options, decisions and implications for treatment. It is well-written, clear, organized and cross-referenced. The case-study vignettes are particularly helpful.

In his humble, hopeful and helpful style, the author directly addresses about 285 of the most commonly-asked questions from patients seeking specifics to help address individual circumstances. He addressed all of our concerns, to the extent that we better understand the complete picture so we can chart a course of treatment with our medical team that's right for us. Thank you, Dr. Chan.

When I was first diagnosed with early stage breast cancer, my friends gave me this wonderful resource. Reading that book gave me a tremendous peace of mind. Dr. Chan had answers to questions that I didn't even know to ask. I felt relieved when I read that there has been much advancement in recent years and many options to consider in treatment.

Then I went through biopsy, lumpectomy, follow-up radiation, and then started Arimidex; my treatment went exactly as he described. I re-read those sections that pertained to me; they were informative and technical, with supporting studies and statistics. Most importantly, there was always a positive, warm tone. Dr. Chan was my guide through an anxious period. This book should be everyone's companion through a scary process.

I have purchased this book for my friends who have breast cancer and for their families to understand what's going on.

I highly recommend this excellent information-packed book for anyone diagnosed with breast cancer! In the first ten minutes of reading it, I found more reassurance here than I have found from anywhere else! I trust the knowledge of Dr. Chan to help with questions of the mind and of the heart, while presenting solid facts and statistics, as well as the two most important factors for recovery: comfort and hope.